Sorry about the frequency of the Onion posts lately, but their stories, EVEN THOUGH SATIRE, are closer to the truth than most of the MSM.

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Report: At This Point, Most Americans Feel More Comfortable In Dying Economy

WASHINGTON—A report released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center found that after more than four years of financial hardship, a majority of Americans now feel more at ease living in a failing economy than they would in a thriving one.

The report concluded that the constant threat of a second recession, record joblessness, ever-rising health care costs, and a soaring national debt, while devastating, have come to be the only things citizens know they can truly count on in these bleak and unstable times.

“To be honest, without the specter of defaulting on my mortgage looming over my head, something would just feel off,” said Louisville, KY resident Dale Bowman, one of thousands polled for the study. “Call me a creature of habit, but I’m just accustomed to waking up knowing our unemployment rate is over 9 percent, there’s nothing I can do about it, and it’ll be a very long time before we can ever hope to pull out of this.”

“Even if I did somehow make enough money to keep my head above water, I haven’t the slightest clue what I’d do with it anymore,” Bowman added.

According to the survey, 63 percent of Americans said they had come to rely upon the familiar sense of dread that came from knowing the country was quickly losing its place as an economic superpower, while 71 percent described finding a kind of tranquility in the steady, predictable cuts to local, state, and federal funding.

In addition, 80 percent reported they had been tightening their belts for so long, the thought of loosening them again after all this time just felt unnatural.

“You get used to sending 50 resumés into the void each day and having them all go unanswered,” said Mary-Lee Jones, 46, of Cleveland, who later called the enduring unlikelihood of ever finding employment “her rock.” “The emotional trauma of not knowing if or when I’ll work again has just become a regular part of my life. Honestly, not living on the knife’s edge of poverty might make me a little anxious.”

Check out the rest here…

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