A Letter from Goldman Sachs
Concerning Occupy Wall Street
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)– The following is a letter released today by Lloyd Blankfein, the chairman of banking giant Goldman Sachs:
Dear Investor:
Up until now, Goldman Sachs has been silent on the subject of the protest movement known as Occupy Wall Street. That does not mean, however, that it has not been very much on our minds. As thousands have gathered in Lower Manhattan, passionately expressing their deep discontent with the status quo, we have taken note of these protests. And we have asked ourselves this question:
How can we make money off them?
The answer is the newly launched Goldman Sachs Global Rage Fund, whose investment objective is to monetize the Occupy Wall Street protests as they spread around the world. At Goldman, we recognize that the capitalist system as we know it is circling the drain – but there’s plenty of money to be made on the way down.
The Rage Fund will seek out opportunities to invest in products that are poised to benefit from the spreading protests, from police batons and barricades to stun guns and forehead bandages. Furthermore, as clashes between police and protesters turn ever more violent, we are making significant bets on companies that manufacture replacements for broken windows and overturned cars, as well as the raw materials necessary for the construction and incineration of effigies.
Rest of the letter can be read here…
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4closureFraud.org
Andy is right on target….this is the way they play the game…they invest in and sell investments in anything with a pulse…maybe even without a pulse!….or as Blankfein calls it, doing God’s work…..!
Andy, love it. Keep them coming.
I had never heard of Andy Borowitz before seeing some of his stuff referenced on this site. I like this guy!
The part about investing in companies that replace windows and overturned cars reminds me of a book I am reading, published in 1732, about tricks you had to watch out for in the city, like waiters who were paid by clothiers and tailors to spill things on the clothing of people of means.
So, is the Protest Bubble coming next?
Again hate seeing my stolen mtg payments paying to kill the voice of AMERICA…the big donators in the pocket of many reps totally disgusting excuse while I try to keep my food down!!!!!
I would more suspect Goldman-Sucks to be ‘buying’ protection from the local police with promised deposits into retirement accounts. Meanwhile Goldman-Sucks will have those retirement accounts under the control of their own staff. The police officers will get suckered into believing they have a sound retirement account. Likely they will divert additional funds into these accounts. Then the Goldman-Sucks scam will be sprung on them. Their investments will be found to be swamp land or worse.
There is far more money to be made on the retirement accounts of those public servants than the batons and barricades. G-S has shown how well they can bet against other investors.
“.. ‘buying’ protection from the local police …”. I think Jaime Dimon already has that one covered…
Chase is trillions in the red in mortgage fraud debt but they still have money to pay off the cops….! Throw the crooks in prison…..!
http://maxkeiser.com/
Max and Stacey reporting that CHASE IS A DEAD BANK WALKING….THEY HAVE 90 TRILLION IN DERIVATIVES RISK , WITH NO COUNTERPARTY PROTECTION….WATCH THE ABOVE VIDEO LINK TO THE KEISER REPORT AT 2:45…..
And Chase and Citi were the least overleveraged before the bubble burst….52-1…..Imagine Goldman’s derivative risks…they were overleveraged 333:1 and Fannie and Freddie….72-1…all in their Global debt pool of toxic waste….600 trillion dollars in derivatives risk with no counter party protection….naked as a jay bird…
I vent….So Chase is a dead bank walking….LOL….the Demon is feeling some pain….any amount of pain is better than none…..trillions in the red…is that considered a DEADBANK…..or is that Chase took on more than they could handle….poor Chasie…..and they have to pay the police to protect them……Come on Jamie…did you really pay the white shirts to beat the hell out of peaceful protesters ? The Demon is learning that karma does come back in strange ways….Now for the other banks……………
Looks like Lucifer is in need of some restraint Marilyn, The Rolling Stones had them pegged a long, long time ago…..their brains are about to be shattered! splattered all over Manhattan!!
Hell No….Well, if the police get suckered in….so be it….they will deserve it…..they know who they are working for….and they want the bucks now….but banks do not do anything unless they come out ahead….to trust them you are already a loser…..