Wrong People Arrested on Wall Street | Goldman Boss: ‘Thought They Were Finally Coming for Us’

Wrong People Arrested on Wall Street

Goldman Boss: ‘Thought They Were Finally Coming for Us’

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Millions of Americans cheered the news on Friday that arrests had finally been made on Wall Street, but were soon disappointed to learn that the wrong people had been taken into custody.

“I was like, finally they’re going to get those bastards,” said Tracy Klugian, 27, of Queens, New York, whose hopes were raised by an “Arrests on Wall Street” graphic he saw on CNN.  “I guess it was too good to be true.”

NYPD spokesman Frank Hannefy explained the controversial decision to arrest Occupy Wall Street protesters while leaving the people who had brought the nation’s economy to the brink of Armageddon unmolested.

“As far as soulless individuals pillaging the country for their personal gain, that’s none of our business,” he said.  “But we’ll be damned if we’re going to let people march on newly seeded grass.”

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Comments
11 Responses to “Wrong People Arrested on Wall Street | Goldman Boss: ‘Thought They Were Finally Coming for Us’”
  1. Bobbi Swann says:

    I do so wish that I were a fly on the wall inside Wall Street banksters offices….I mean, really, they have to be just a little afraid of all those people there in OWS, right? I would bet that the exec’s aren’t even coming to the main offices these past 4 weeks…hiding out in their homes or off-shore somewhere.

    • Bobbi….I would say they all carry fear wherever they go….what lurks in the shadows…especially since the world has heard the truth…..and none can judge who is their friend or foe….

  2. CaitlinO says:

    Thank you Borowitz. A little parody is always appreciated!!

  3. housemanrob says:

    Who seeds grass in Sept or Oct……bullshit……NYPD spokesman, Frank Hennefy!

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