Banks Face Hefty Fine for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners

“A local branch manager for a large mortgage company also voiced support for the policy, “Everyone likes to make the people we kill out to be victims. Trust me, they’re not.”

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“They’d rather die than pull two hundred G’s out from under the bed. That really shows you just how serious they are about paying their bills.”

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Banks Face Hefty Fine for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners

Dover, DE (BNSE): Justice Department investigators confirmed today they are considering possible fines and other penalties against several of the United States’ largest financial institutions for the murders of hundreds of homeowners delinquent in their mortgage payments.

The Justice Department responded to complaints from families of recent murder victims claiming to receive billing statements from the deceased’s mortgage companies demanding payment for “ammunition services,” “break-in and terrorizing administrative charges,” and “blood removal and dry cleaning fees,” among other charges related to “Mortgage Remediation Services.”

According to a Justice Department spokesman, “The Department is taking these accusations very seriously. While the laws regulating just how aggressive lending companies can act in their efforts to collect a dept are very broad, the actual legality of physically killing individuals behind on their payments is rather vague. Congress and the Courts have consistently ruled that large financial institutions can do whatever they want whenever they want, but, the authority to just kill people for very little reason is a power normally reserved to the federal government.”

Officials for several of the largest banks were quick to defend the policy. “Banks have a right and obligation to protect their assets and manage them in a way to yield the highest profitability,” said one well known CEO. “The simple fact is there are some people out there who are not prepared for home ownership and its responsibilities. Some of these people were two, even three days late on their payments. What are we supposed to do? Wait around to Thursday, even Friday, so these deadbeats can meet their obligations?

“Government regulation is making it nearly impossible for lending institutions to maximize their investments. It’s hard to believe, but in almost every state now, you actually have to prove that your bank owns the property your trying to repossess. Until recently that was an easy problem to fix, but thanks to the liberal media, Courts are actually requiring that any legal documents you produce must be real. This is insane!

Head over to The Spoof and check out the rest by clicking here…

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Comments
7 Responses to “Banks Face Hefty Fine for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners”
  1. MidFirst Bank bought in 2005 and has attempted to collect on our 2000 FHA/HUD discharged mortgage debt. My husband and I was injured at work in the 90″s, filed chapter 13 in 95′. Cenlar Federal Savings sold the discharged debt to Aurora Loan in 2002, soon after the discharge, Aurora re-sold the debt to MidFirst in 2005, all 3 re-aged and reported the debt on our credit from 2001 to 2008. MidFirst continues to carry the debt in our names and hold us liable to date (Nov. 20, 2010). We sued under FDCPA, it did no good, because Midland Mortgage, who services the discharged debt, lied to the court stating that we agreed to accept $40,000 and sign their ambigious, never before seen settlement agreement, which include the repayment of the 2000 discharged mortgage debt. We have been framed by MidFirst Bank/Midland their attorney, and our attorney. We wrote to the court to let them know that we never agreed to or saw any settlement contract, plus no contract has been signed. So the court entered a judgment in 09, against us that we accept the $40,000 and sign the illegal settlement, which include the 2000 discharged mortgage debt or we could face jail/fine. Unheard of? 2 people in white hoods were sent to our home on April 12, 2010, calling us out of our names and threating to kill us if we do not sign their contract. Called 911 and FBI, nothing done. This is a 2000 discharged Mortgage FHA/HUD debt!!!! It has been 15 years and this zombie debt just wont die. This is a crime. Google “ZOMBIE DEBT REF– USE TO DIE, PRINCE ELLA”. U-TUBE

  2. Linda Venturella says:

    EVERY PROPERTY OWNER IN THIS COUNTRY NEEDS TO FIND OUT WHO IF ANYONE HAS THE PROPER DOCUMENTATION NEEDED TO COLLECT MONEY ON THEIR PROPERTY. NO ONE IS SAFE FROM THE BANKSTER CROOKS. I HAVE BEEN HEARING MANY STORIES OF PEOPLE MAKING THEIR MORTGAGE PAYMENTS ON TIME ONLY TO BE TOLD BY THESE MORTGAGE SERVICERS/BANKS THAT THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RECIEVING THEIR PAYMENTS AND THAT THEY ARE NOW IN DEFAULT. THEY ARE NOT BEING MADE TO ACCOUNT FOR THIS BY ANYONE, JUST LIKE THE TARP BAILOUT MONEY THAT MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPEARED. THESE CROOKS WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO TAKE EVERYTHING THEY CAN TAKE. PEOPLE NEED TO DEMAND TO SEE THEIR ORIGINAL MORTGAGE NOTE PROVING WHO OWNS THEIR NOTE. THESE BANKS WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO RUIN ALL OF US AND THEY NEED TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT WHERESTHENOTE.COM? EVERY PROPERTY OWNER NEEDS TO KNOW THIS IMPORTANT INFORMATION FROM THEIR LENDER. WE NEED TO SPREAD THE WORD. I BELIEVE MANY PEOPLE MAY DECIDE TO STRATEGICALLY DEFAULT ON THEIR LOANS UPON FINDING OUT THE TRUTH. NO NOTES EXIST AND WE DO NOT OWE THESE CROOKS ANOTHER DIME. COMMERCIAL PROPERTY IS ALSO INCLUDED IN THIS. WE NEED TO HAVE A CHANCE TO PROTECT OUR PROPERTY RIGHTS AGAINST THE BANKSTER CROOKS. WE NEED A NATIONWIDE MORATORIUM ON ALL FORECLOSURES STARTING TODAY.

  3. Sui the Gator says:

    This is only a spoof article, and should not be posted as fact, even though you give a link to the spoof site.

  4. Michael says:

    They forgot part:

    Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which are wholly-owned by the US Treasury, declined comment on the grounds they are private companies. They did however ask that Treasury please wire another couple hundred billion of tax dollars as soon as possible. They also noted, under their breath, something about Stern refusing to let them drive the Bugatti adding that lately “going to Florida kinda’ sucks.”

    When asked about the policy, President Obama responded “I told you I’d bring about hope … the Rangers are in the World Series,” then assiduously avoided the subject.

    Officials at the FHA denied their own existence. When confronted by an existentialist, who apparently debated with them for 11 hours, they did admit they may exist in some universe.

    • Sagittarius says:

      …shortly after that, the white house suddenly folded into a space ship and flew away. it was the damndest thing i ever saw.

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