“Beat Da Rap” By Shady D


Knowing how much our Commander-in-Chief likes a good rap song,

I penned this ditty with him in mind. Thanks to his help, we beat the rap.

Look out Jay Z, “The Commander-in-Thief” Shady D is in da house! Seriously, whether we hold your note or not, I’m in your house!


“Beat Da Rap”


Shady D

Zero money down, McMansions for all

Then the housing market took a biggie fall

We blamed it on subprime but we were lying

It was derivatives and securitizing

To ensure the poor would take the fall

We used Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh


There were credit defaults – to swap for sure

When this shit really blows, Katie bar da door

We took cover under TARP with 700 B

Doled out to Wells, Chase, the inglorious A-I-G

Put it all on the taxpayer’s back

We got da gold, man – and you got sacked


Down on Wall Street the pay was obscene

Signing bonus checks like we was Linda Green

We needed Hank and Ben to save our payday

Brought in Timmy G. to foam the runway

Summoned to D.C. – it was all a show

Grilled by Chris Dodd, a friend of Angelo’s




You know we beat da rap

Too big and all that crap

They look the other way (Hey!)

Down at the D-O-J

You’ll never handcuff me

We bought the O-C-C


Look at all the gold we were mining

Using fake docs and robo-signing

How much did Fannie and Freddie “earn”

Before dumping “Da Baum” and David Stern

Mills and sweatshops like L-P-S

Dog ate da note? No sweat – call DOC X


Call this 800 number to keep HOPE alive

You gotta make all these trial payments to modify

But all of your documents fell by the wayside

We’re taking this foreclosure crisis “countrywide”

Your house is the ultimate prize

We’ll change the locks and winterize


To keep you afloat there was HAMP and HARP

But we sank your underwater home on a lark

We put all the notes on BOA’s Ark

Chase’s mascot’s a whale but the rest are sharks

While down the drain your life goes swirling

They shine my white shoes at Covington & Burling


You know we beat da rap

Too big and all that crap

They look the other way (Hey!)

Down at the D-O-J

You’ll never handcuff me

We bought the O-C-C


From subprime to sublime

“Settlement” bought us more time

Distract you with Corzine

Of course there’s no jail time

Throw YOU out on your M F’n behind

Now the streets are lined with “For Sale” signs


From predatory to Promontory

Here’s 300 bucks – f*ckin’ end of story

Can’t you see we’re a monopoly?

Where every card reads “Get Out of Jail Free”

For us Cristal, “Dimon” and furs

For the Sheeple  – FICO and MERS


Tile, granite and stainless steel

For us just a painless steal

We get the meat, throw you da bones

We’re keeping it on the Down Jones

Bull(shit) market where no rally’s doused

Now that Shady D’s in YOUR house


Now your economy’s in the crapper

Thanks in large part to this white rapper

Look at my suit – I’m so damn dapper

Justice for you? Now that’s a laugher

Already planning the next disaster

And you’ll live crappily ever after


I’m bold, I’ve gotta plan

I’ll lobby Uncle Sam

To make me the next POTUS

Rename the country after us

After all, we own this place

The United States of Chase




3 Responses to ““Beat Da Rap” By Shady D”
  1. Karmel Roe says:

    I love this, I want to make it into a video thanks for sharing. The truth could not have been spoke any better. Check out California foreclosure alternatives on Facebook or http://www.karmelroe2013.com

  2. Rebecca Lara says:

    So dam true theifts criminals liars wrongdoers
    Many wrongs of fraud foreclosure
    I did nothing wrong! Nothing. I did do every thing plus they asked if me for a year. Didn’t miss a payment prior jan 2007 until march 17 2010 22 years I lived there. It was our home my family pets life world. Gone why if anything I’m human and ignorant to knowledge of mortgage loan and foreclosure along with docs that were granted to me 1998 by divorce judge granting me exclusive grant deed. And clerk of court to sign ex off making me sole owned this took to march 2006 I forgot about this when Wells Fargo would not qualify me nor HUD approved program I did 5 months they honestly would of saw what I did this jan 2013 if did their job. !! They said fanny owned note no Freddy no. Then sorry out of country you’ll never know (. Well I own the home I have original deed note that goes with the house that I even have Walters who sold me the property
    So where is the note I’d say wells but I saw citi Jp Morgan and b of a tried substation of trustee twice but they messed up. The names that they took off at the times were not the names that were on loan and how does one send a doc Mers dated after the date received ??
    Lies cons fraud. Stress and being all alone did not help me. Or I may of saw what I did and found this jan feb 2013. One other thing double check your loan docs. Because I found three other papers with three names addresses only they also saw that two of these three had same loan number. This year I found until I get my justice served to me then I can get out of living in out of my car two years. America they put me out to pasture at 53 today 55 alone very lonely my family torn apart destroyed my life world every thing because of greed selfishness rich get richer I’m extremely low limited income SSI disabled late 90’s look how America treats their own. Not kind nice at all grew up lived middle class all my life
    Dam them see I can’t afford a lawyer not does any even want to speak with me. My case that I wrote about 2010 when my gut said something’s not right is the same case number that 2012 cfpb had when I made my complaint. Also something more is wrong because why wasn’t my sole owner filed at hall of records march 2006 it would start 1998 I have the receipt attached to my docs that court had me file?
    I honestly believe that there is so much more only how do I even find out my case number I read on everything was just like my foreclosure only these court files became federal sealed possibly I’m not for sure but I feel
    And will they ever have balls to sit and look me into my eyes telling me every thing fraud that they knew long before feb 2 2012. 2011 IFR contacted me how I don’t know But I was told to forward a email to Russ consultants fraud alert I did and when my docs arrived in federal court jan 2013 they were taken away Why who good cop bad cop only it was my home my family pets our life gone stole out under No cash no help
    Only I am very glad I keep every doc on house insurance taxes property even charge cards that I opened and closed. Now is 125,000 dollars enough for all my injuries and physical mental emotional sickness with injuries ? No honestly not at all. Life is hard enough why make to harder tossing a disabled women single into streets who had no luck in 5 counties southern calif looking for housing help. They took my Ihhs away and my back L 6&7 broken along with I’m lost so confused I don’t fit in I don’t know where to how to or. Displaced by government action
    Born raised here American taught to be proud told there were programs that America had to help the Americans that honestly needed sorry I saw heard everything but. Why will life ever move forward again its not as if I’m 21 years old they honestly could of let me stay until I died hell my empty nest came with in a month both boys one went abroad Australia 5 years I wasn’t behind jan 2010 other dec 2009
    Cap off loan up SSI dropped no matter that they were not able to tell me when it was I did not report $2000 dollars that I do believe I did just or was years before jan 2010. Social security couldn’t help me behavioral health nope nor adult pertective services that my case worker Ihhs contacted
    Make sure you take your time even if all alone not knowing what’s to come. But my congressman knew the banks wanted the houses may 2010 after Obama state of union how 15 billion dollars was for 4 states 1 mine this was to keep the dream alive the older adults who had bad Finanical hardship get help by placing onto back of loan so we Americans that lived in our homes years would not lose our American dream
    What happened. No one heard any thing or how to find this. Bull

  3. BOBBI SWANN says:

    Should send this out to have it put to music! This is great! Kudo’s to the author…..

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